A Letter to My Brother.

Hey Bro. You'll probably never read this- but maybe some day, when you're older and you actually like me, you'll stumble across your sister's blog and realize that she really does love you.

I just want you to know that your smile lights up a room like nobody else. You can always make me laugh, make me happy, and of course - you can always make me mad. :P

I'm so glad that I have you in my life. I think a lot about the miscarriage that mom had, how if it weren't for that, I would have a little sister instead of a little brother, and how if it weren't for that, you wouldn't be in my life. And I know it's bad to be thankful for that, but I can't imagine not having you around. I am thankful for that painful period of our lives before you came around -because of it, I have you.

Today, we went out and took pictures of each other jumping around and I took a few of you with your little daisy BB gun and you were so proud, it made me happy just to see your face light up. You're growing up, but you're still so young. Still very innocent. Still very in a naive sense of love with the world around you, and I get so envious of what you have, when I don't.

Stay strong, little brother. No matter how much the world tries to eat you, don't give in to it's teeth.

Love your big sis.

A lot has happened since Sarah died.

I tried to bring my best friend back to reality.

She's still not really alright, but I guess you know that too.

Josh threatened suicide, again.

I believed it for a while.

I became a rock for everyone to lean on. It was easier than giving in to pain.

I realized that if my focus wasn't exactly perfect on You, I couldn't be a rock.

I learned this the hard way, with a very public break down in the middle of class.

Yay me.

Jare and I broke up, mainly because of my stress levels, partially because neither of us really knew anymore what we wanted out of our relationship.

I stopped believing Josh.

I feel bad, and I still don't know if it's the right thing, but I can't be around him

Anymore.

I fought with You, a bunch.

I'm still a little sad with you, a little bit.

I don't really know what you want of me

Anymore.

Books and life and evil seem to have messed me up.

I guess, in a way, I messed myself up.

A little bit.

A lot.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Can we start over?

I really want to know you

More.

-Love, daughter

So, watched Avatar last night. I know, I'm late getting on the bandwagon, but it was phenomenal. The graphics, way it was taped, I loved it. I wasn't even going to go at first but my little bro pretty much forced me, and I'm glad he did. :P

I think what got to me the most, and got me thinking, was the fact that God offers that world to us here, if we seek for Him. In the original Hebrew language, there is no word for spiritual because EVERYTHING is spiritual in God's eyes. If we take the time daily to see God in little things, enjoy this gift of life we've been given, life doesn't seem too bad. Even through times of 'great sorrow' He is still here, we just need to seek. Isaiah says 'Look to me and be saved.' Not look to me and someday I might change things for you, but look to me and you are saved. Not changing the world necessarily at this moment, but changing our outlook on the world. Our God is greater than Eywa, because we don't need special trees or even churches to speak to him- He is everywhere. There's no way we can be separated from Him until we deliberately make the choice.

Creator and Creation.

I was watching a video by Rob Bell the other day, and he said something that made me think a lot about the human race.

Rob talked about how God, completely spiritual, loves to create. And so he created, and then loved his creation. He created this world that is completely physical, the opposite of everything that the I AM represents, and called it good.

But not great. He wasn't finished yet.

Then he created man, a being that is completely physical and at the same time, completely spiritual. This being would work and die and reproduce (I suppose God thought of reproduction in the beginning.. or maybe not. Imagine Adam waking up after God decided that! haha) as other physical creatures, but the being also can create, can love as his creator loves. This being named and became master of everything on earth. Then He(being God) made another creature, a creature that man was not master of, but complimentary to. Another spiritual and physical being, that would rule alongside him.

The point of this story (to me, anyway) was the purpose of God creating. Of making both man and woman capable of love and the love to create. To worship God is to be pleased with what He's given us, isn't it? To give the creator the very best of all our creations. Why we baptize ourselves. Why we dedicate children to the church.

But have we lost our focus? More than once(okay, the majority of the time), my art has been about me. I constantly think about how I need to get a perfect photo so people will see it and think that I'm good. That I'll be able to be proud of my work.

Which brings me to the point of my story:

Who is the greater artist: the one who creates the sunset, or the one who paints it?

No doubt that we are all made to create. But we should be never be distracted and overruled by our art to the point that we forget the one who gave us the gifts in the first place.

Kinden Family Portraits

Did a photography session with such a beautiful and sweet family. Had a blast with them, thanks for letting me take pictures with you guys! :)

First post?

I've always wanted to be a blogger. I creep photo blogs like a pro, but really, I've been scared to death of trying it myself. I even made a sample blog that I knew nobody would ever see, just so I could try it out for myself.

I live in Newfoundland, Canada. I talk a lot, I laugh a lot, and I love to see the fog rolling like cream from a bucket over the rocky hillside that I call home.

Art, in any form, is a simple love for me - I paint with brushes. I paint with cameras, lenses. I paint with words. I paint with numbers. I paint with Photoshop. I paint with a saxophone, bass guitar, piano, laughter. I paint with my feet when I travel, my hands when I speak, my lips when I kiss, my ears when I listen, my frying pan when I burn french toast, my life as I worship. All are forms of worship, all are forms of art, all are forms of beauty.