It all started last night. The jealousy monster started rising.
My really great friend Steve was recognized provincially for his photography, and the newspaper did a full page spread on him. I was so happy for him: we've been learning photography at the same pace and we always get together to take pictures and he's steadily gotten better at the trade, so I know that he deserves it. Until last night, there had never been any competition between us. But seeing him being recognized, and the great pictures he's taking, and all his creativity, it sort of made me mad. I started to ask myself questions that hadn't really arose before; Why can't I take pictures like that? Why don't I have the inspiration he does? How is that he keeps getting better, when I've stayed at this plateau?
I know that we have different styles of photography, but that jealous bone still creeps in. I hate the feeling but it's almost addictive, I just don't want to let go of it. So I decided to take a different approach.
I was going through some of my old photos, from the time I was just learning the art of photography. I was so much more creative then than I am now. There's a gradual change in my creativity as I started to learn about aperture and ISO and framing and all that. It's like once I learned the rules, I started to completely stay in the box - which definitely explains me staying at a plateau while he moves gradually ahead of me. People started to notice me less and less as I got further ahead... which sort of goes against what I was trying to do, doesn't it?
I need to break free of the box. And accept that I am the photographer that God created me to be. I am not Steve, I am Alex. I might not be the same as him, but everyone gets better by testing their limits.
